Improve hot reloading for hooks

[sidharthachatterjee]

react-hot-loader/webpack currently gets applied to all of node_modules

We should apply this only to react-dom

This should do two things

• speed up develop
• fix issue where everything breaks if there is node_modules in src

Related

Follow up to #13713 and gaearon/react-hot-loader#1309

Attempted in #16146

[sidharthachatterjee]

Done in #16546 thanks to @theKashey